Not that I remember her as a young lady. She was always old for me. But I remember her as a lady of huge energy and powerful voice. And in fact all her children are extremely energetic as well. For some reason, I didn't pick up this trait from her, or may be the modern lifestyle made me lazy. She always got up before the day break, took her shower and then went to temple every day without fail. Later on, when she was less able to get out of the house, she still continued her routine and performed puja at the temple inhouse, rather. During my India trips every year or two, she did look weaker and older, yet her energy and activity remained the same. This time, when I went to see her, though, I was in for a shock. I was there for about half-day, and she mostly just sat in one chair, with her food & water served. She walked only to visit bathroom. She was mostly just bones with arched body and shorter height, and had dim eyes with black circles and her head bent, confidence totally shaken. Most of all she didn't even recognize me at first, and I had to remind her 3 times during 3 hours about who I was and I still didn't know how much she remembered me. Few months ago, she went through a hip replacement surgery after having broken it by slipping. That, it seemed was a big blow on his physical and mental abilities. But, it was still heart-warming to see her passion for life still alive. Instead of just going to sleep, she maintained interest in the conversations happening around her; only this time she mostly just listened. And, when asked for a picture, she made sure to put her shawl over her head so she looked good.
I really don't know if I am ever to going to see her again. I hope and pray I do. But somewhere down in my heart, I am not resisting death that much any more. I have come back with a deeper realization of the impermaneancy & shortness of life. I hope this realization is deep enough to stick around. I am resolving this moment to get out of the rat race that I have reluctantly entered over the last 5 years. The same old calm and relaxation has pervaded my body. I know it's not going to be easy to escape the pull of the rats, but I am going to try harder. We all should, I think.
2 comments:
Yes that's what i have tried to emphasis in my own way, my love for city of doon and my fixation to move there stems from this aversion to so called rat race...but.. we cannot escape from our responsibilities as "Grahsath".
...but as well
the learning comes to me middle path leads to enjoying best of everything.
I agree. Middle path is the best approach. Unfortunately, when greed sets in, you are flying in the air and you don't see where you are headed. The latest example being the world economic crisis, I would say.
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